Whether you have a volatile, passionate personality, or you just let your emotions run away with you at the negotiating table, it sounds like you are a Novice Negotiator. You have a lot of internal work to do to be a truly successful, authentic negotiator – someone who approaches deals from a place of Clarity, Detachment and Equilibrium with the ultimate goal of achieving your objectives, not winning. Novice negotiators are characterized by a lack of preparation, both in basic research and the self-reflection necessary to enter negotiations without conflicted emotions, being rigid or letting ego take over. Consequently, novices are often ego-driven, highly emotional, , inflexible and, at times, possibly manipulative and dishonest in their tactics or they are fear-driven, don’t own their value, come from scarcity or wanting to be liked and, at times, are in a place of desperation – all of which can lead to disastrous negotiating outcomes.
Authentic negotiating is not a skill, but a state of being! If your state of being is in fear, scarcity, upset, anger or rigidity, you won’t be successful, no matter how many techniques you employ.
Based on the new book, Authentic Negotiating: Clarity, Detachment & Equilibrium – The Three Keys to True Negotiating Success & How to Achieve Them, here are four ways to start negotiating from a state of authenticity:
- Check your ego
Ego puts people off, comes across as inauthentic and allows the other side to control and manipulate you. Any time you feel pride pushing itself to the forefront, or you’re feeling the need to look good, to be liked, or to not seem stupid or unprepared, it’s a red flag and you’re not in the best emotional state to successfully negotiate. Take a step back and re-center yourself to maintain the necessary Equilibrium for authentic negotiating.
- Conquer fear
Identify your limiting beliefs and what might sabotage you in the negotiation, whether that’s fear of losing, of success, of the unknown, of looking bad or of letting someone down. If you have not done the internal work first to get Clarity on your fears, you will not know how to address them and move forward successfully.
- Retain objectivity
Being controlled by your emotions is negotiating death – it puts you off your game and at odds with the Clarity, Detachment and Equilibrium – the three keys to authentic negotiating. By first doing the internal work necessary to avoid taking things personally and getting upset, frustrated or even falling in love with a deal, you can remain in a clear, calm place.
- Always be in integrity
Approach everything from a place of integrity and honesty, both with others and with yourself. If you are in a negotiation and something feels out of integrity for you, take a step back, call a time-out, reconnect and don’t move forward until you’re back in alignment with your integrity. Identify and hold to this moral compass, or risk being led astray and negatively impacting the whole interaction.
Find more valuable insight in Authentic Negotiating: Clarity, Detachment & Equilibrium – The Three Keys to True Negotiating Success & How to Achieve Them, or contact Corey to discover how he and his team can help you achieve authenticity in negotiations, business and life.
Click here to download the first chapter of Authentic Negotiating: Clarity, Detachment & Equilibrium – The Three Keys to True Negotiating Success & How to Achieve Them.
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